This webpage was put up due to the ongoing antics of a number of acquaintances (which will be referred to as "the team" from now on) and their obsession of eating chilis. Having always enjoyed the effects of eating chilies, the team have decided to take it one step further. We aim to push the limits of the human body to the extent possible to us and we do this all FOR SCIENCE!
We aim to provide you with details on what you can expect when consuming relatively large portions of chili in a single sitting.
You may have wondered what make chilies hot. This is a good question, and has an interesting answer. A quick search of the Internet will tell you that a chemist by the name Wilbur Scoville did tests on chilis and found that a chemical called "capsaicin" is what gives any chili it's burning effect. (Caselton) Some chilis are quite furious, while others are not.
Scoville found that if you take pure capsaicin and water it down until you can't feel the burn anymore, you need about a ratio of 1 portion of capsaicin to at least 15 million portions of water. So if you have one drop of capsaicin, you require 15 million drops of water to not feel the effect of that capsaicin. (Caselton)
Using this measuring method, tests have been done to work out how hot each type of chili really is. There is a scale of chilis from hottest to mildest available at: http://www.satansbreath.com/images/PepperScale1.jpg. Although the Red Habernero chili has long been renowned as the world's hottest chili, a new chili found in India named the Tezpur (after the region it was found in) is said to be approximately 1.5 times spicier than the Red Habernero.
The night began with Long Island Ice Teas. Two each, because it was happy hour. Dan was driving - he had a beer. Slu decided we had to down the first Long Island within one minute of recieving it. At some point Tim arrived I (Cabj) can't remember if it was before or after the chili tubs appeared on the table. Before I think. Tim did not partake of the chili.
At some point after the first Long Island we ordered our meals. Because we had skulled Long Islands, everyone ordered Chicken Crispers. I wanted something spicy (which Chicken Crispers aren't) but ended up with one anyway. It's just how it is, I don't ask questions. Slu decided he was having two tubs of Suicidal Salsa [we believe a portion of this salsa is about 3 or 4 Red Habernero pureed] hence, Jon had to have two as well. Since Jon is considered "Krillen" and Slu "Goku", I was forced to also have at least two tubs. At this point, Sarti also decided to have two tubs - like a sheep to the slaughter.
The meals were brought to the table. A tray full of chili tubs followed. I don't know what people around us were thinking. It didn't matter. One must focus all their energy on the task at hand when consuming chili with this potency. Now, with two Long Islands in me, I didn't notice Slu and Jon instantly shoot their first tub of salsa. Peering across the table to see Slu's tub empty I was like Windows 95 coming to a critical stop. *DANT!* The challenge is now set, and followed. Myself and Sarti both shot our first tubs.
Somewhere around this point you start wondering if that was such a good idea. Bidj called Sarti's mobile, as he was tortured on a Dell job on the Gold Coast still (at 7PM at night). He later commented, "I called Satri to ask him for some help and he was pissed or something. He said he had just shot a tub of straight Habernero and I could hear someone yelling down the phone". Dan was smart. He mixed the salsa with food.
After what seemed like about 15 minutes [but was probably about 5], Sarti decided it was time to chuck up. He exited to the Cactus Jacks bathroom, followed by Jon. There was someone in the cubical. Satri's Gandalf couldn't handle the heat of Balrog, and he had to reject the food. Jon (aka Krillen) also had a chuck, but later told us he had to force the vomit. He said leaning over the bin and smelling Sarti's vomit helped this happen. Slu and myself had to go out to the toilet, as Jon had not admitted he had to chuck up before leaving. We caught him in the act. Meanwhile the guy snapping off a steamy cable hears four half-dotted, chili stoked guys burst into the toilet, chucking up, laughing and mocking etc.
Slu had to collapse out the back of Cactus Jacks for a few minutes, as the stomach cramps and burn was intense. A delivery guy thought he had drank too much.
It may have been upon returning to the table that Slu and I shot our second tubs of salsa. Dan used Jon's spare, and Sarti's spare was left to last. The burning was extremely intense on one's stomach. Mouth burning was not so bad. The chips were well and truly soggy by this point.
By the end of the meal, I was determined to finish Sarti's spare tub. I went at it with soggy chips but Dan, the only person (besides Tim who was probably enjoying watching the pain too much) eventually snatched the tub away and put it on the far end of the table away from me. It was probably the smartest thing done that night.
Once exited from Cactus Jacks, Jon Slu and I decided it would be best to walk about 1.5-2Ks back to Sarti's house instead of riding in the car. Stomach cramps and burns were coming at what seemed like once every minute or so. I think I lost my perception of time however, and this figure cannot be regarded as accurate. Slu had to lay down a few times. I was to the point of vomitting at one stage as my salival ducts were excreting huge amounts of saliva. I find this also happened when I would get completely plastered from drinking too much. The vomit is not far off from this, but I resisted and succeeded in escaping it.
Stomach burn and cramping continued for hours after intaking the chili.
The release of endorphins helps reduce the pain, but it is done in waves so
you would get bad pains for a few seconds and then the endorphins numb the pain
and it goes away.
The next morning I woke up needing to take a piss. From this experience, the
title "Magic Fire Wand" was born. This is by far the worst pain you
will undergo from eating chilis. I've never had any ailments or stuff go wrong down
there, so I can't put it into terms that others might understand. Slu said
it feels like pissing razor blades, but I think pissing razor blades would hurt a bit more.
I think it is more like the sensation you get from a Burning Ring of Fire, but it
is all concentrated down the urethra - if you can imagine.
Gandalf had much trouble with Balrog this night, the initial passing was painful
at first, but after some time it was almost numbing. Like you could talk to the fairies.
Tummy troubles continued throughout the day. I found it felt a lot like you
needed to have a bog, but when you tried to you couldn't. Very frustrating.
In summary of these events, here is what I've learnt. If you decide to consume about 8 Red Habernero chilies straight, in puree form, you can expect the following effects:
Next, I aim to get someone to measure my pulse or heart rate while I consume excessive quantities of chili, to see how this is affected.
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No one, excluding you, is in any way responsible for the actions you take after having read this webpage. Your reading of this page implicitly agrees that you cannot, and will not, hold anyone responsible for anything that you do after reading this information.
As far as the team has experienced, the consumption of chilies has not resulted in
the requirement of medical assistance. However, your common sense should
be used if you should try something similar to what is described here.
And if you get chili in your eye, try lemon juice.
